Tag Archives: Real Estate Marketing Phrases

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Funny Translation of Real Estate Terms

What do all those real estate terms and phrases mean?

Great Potential for Renovation: means you may be able to repair it or you may have to tear it down and rebuild.
Mature Trees: means get them checked, they’re likely dead and going to fall any day now.
Great Investment Opportunity: means you wouldn’t want to live there.
Quiet Established Neighborhood: means it’s quiet because all the other homes on the block are abandoned.
Use Caution When Viewing Property: means don’t go inside.
Gated Community: means all your neighbors will be prisoners and convicts.
Schedule Appointment for Showing: means the place is definitely haunted!

Charming: means they couldn’t think of a more appropriate word.
Needs a Little TLC: means it needs about $45,000 dollars or more in renovations and repairs.
Won’t Last Long at This Price:
means the price is so low it will compel you to see it but it will take a miracle for you to want to buy it.
Close To Schools: means get a good set of ear plugs and get used to solicitors.
Walk to Shopping: means the liquor store is across the street.
Off Street Parking: means that you park in an alley.
Fixer Upper: means fixing absolutely everything on an upper-end unlimited budget.

Loaded With Potential: means loaded with problems the seller didn’t want to tackle.
Cute: means they couldn’t think of any other possible way to describe it.
Great Bones: means you’re going to have to gut it and rebuild.
For Sale By Owner: means you better come with your Agent or a Lawyer to negotiate.
Wooded / Shaded Lot: means surrounded by trees and leaves on the ground.
Sold As Is: means don’t even think about asking for any repairs.
No Disclosures: means you’re going to have to find out all the problems with the home on your own.

This One Won’t Last: means literally, it’s about to fall to the ground.
: means it’s very very small.
Spacious: means it’s the only good thing they could say about it.
Tenants Already In Place: means you’re going to have to kick them out if you want to live in the home.
All Systems in Place: means the vac and electrical wiring and copper hasn’t been stolen yet.
This One Won’t Last, Hurry: means I need offers to impress my seller because I’m not sure if I can sell the house or not?
Gorgeous Water Views: means you’re literally soaking in it.

This post is written and intended to entertain and amuse those lucky enough to find it.  If you think you’ll be offended, we apologize since it’s probably already too late. No listings or sellers were hurt or injured in the making of this article.