Will It Ever Close?

 This is probably the most often asked question by sellers of "Real Property" in our industry.  In fact, it may also be the most common question from Buyers, Lenders, Agents, Title companies and others too!   Here's a post featuring the "Lighter side" of this $64,000.00 question.  I know these have really happened to some of us, but try to see the humor in it.  If you can catch a laugh, chuckle or a giggle here, than this post has served it's purpose!!  🙂

Here's a look back on 20 years of un-regrettable experience! 

             

 Your client thinks the FNMA Community Home Buyer Program means "the neighbors pitch in"

Your flood-zoned property is re-listed as ocean-front

The ad states "Location, Location, Location" but it's missing the word "WRONG"

You have to tell your clients they have a champagne taste – on a condo budget

You ask your clients how much they are putting down – and they have to go look under the mattress

You've been previewing homes with clients all weekend – and find out they just wanted decorating ideas

You didn't realize that "Great Freeway Access" really meant "the driveway"

The roof report guarantees five more years – but the termite inspector just fell through it

The no points, no appraisal fee, no lender fee, no escrow fee, no title fee, fixed rate loan is a "NO-GO"

Your 30-day closing just went into probate

The buyers and sellers are quibbling over $500.00, won't budge – then look at you

Your RELO just bought a FSBO

You refer a client to another agent – and it turns out to be a 5 million dollar deal

The clients you've been working with for a year, decide to sign a lease option

Your all-cash buyer was just seen on "America's Most Wanted"

The appraiser appraises the "wrong house"

The new Realtor in the office asks you for directions – to his listing

Your 3% down, 2% gift, and 10% carry back – exceeds 100% financing

You're showing property – and the dog in the backyard doesn't want to sell

"Executive Living" really means "Condo for One"

You just found out your real estate license has expired

You've searched for six months; your clients find the "perfect" home – and it just sold

You're in the business for so long that you think you've seen it all – but you're wrong

You are both the listing and the selling agent – and your clients are at a standstill

You get a counter offer on your clients home – for the 15th time

Your lender calls you and says "Do you want the good news or the bad news"

You get five offers on your listing – and your client decides not to sell

The house you just sold with the "extended family room" does not have permits

You just locked your keys in the car – in front of the buyer, the seller, the listing broker, and your manager

While on caravan, you see one of your best friend's house – listed with another broker

The deal closes, and the renter won't move

 Your client threatens to take his listing somewhere else – and your first thought is "Go ahead..make my day!"

Every house you showed on Friday sold on Monday

The house you are trying to show to your client, has no key in the lock box

Your client neglects to tell you he is working with two other agents besides you

Your commission check is inadvertently delivered to the listing agent, and he cashes it

The house with the "maintenance-free landscape" doesn't have a yard

Your contract says "Owners will carry" – but what they really mean is "their own furniture

The company you just left, merged with your new company

Your closing papers arrive – the day they expire

The bank promises a one-day loan approval – subject to 50 conditions

You meet a new client – and you're out of business cards

Your full price cash offer is not accepted

Your client lost his job – just before closing

Your client's dream home just became a nightmare

The buyers and sellers won't sign the closing papers

The ad you placed in the newspaper has someone else's phone number

Your clients send flowers to the office – but they're not for you

Your clients arrived at closing on time – but their loan docs didn't

Your client has 30% down, be he can't remember where he got it

The house down the street just listed for $20,000 less than your "priced to sell" listing

The ad that states, "Personal Property Included" really means "Husband stays, too"

The underwriter made a quick loan decision – NO!

You find that at your final walk-through, the sellers walked off with everything

You drive by an expired listing described as "one-of-a-kind" and your first reaction is "No-Wonder!"

You have an open house with no activity – only to find someone had stolen all your signs

You are top listing agent for the month – but none of your listings have sold

The new receptionist sends all your calls to the wrong extension while you're out of the office

The judge forces a divorce sale – and your clients get back together

You listed a foreclosure – and the bank just sold it without you

The market starts moving – but your clients won't

Your client calls you to tell you the good news – he just got his real estate license

This is meant to be a humorous look at the misadventures of selling Real Estate.  There are many more that I could add from my own experiences, but this post is already almost two feet long and I'm running out of space! LOL!  How about your experiences?  Care to share? 

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